It is easy to avoid conversations about care that you might need as you age or if you have a serious illness or accident. But planning for those situations ahead of time is the best way to make decisions for how you want to receive future care. Advance care planning helps you make sure that your healthcare wishes and decisions are known and followed if you can't communicate them at that time.

Dr. Vermylen explains that, just like many big decisions in life, you may not know the answer about what you want right away. Talking to your loved ones about your values and thoughts will help them learn about your perspectives and preferences for your health care and your life. Dr. Vermylen's advice is to think through what you want for advance care planning now and share your thoughts with loved ones so clear decisions can be made if something unexpected happens, like a sudden illness or serious accident.

"One of the most basic questions to consider is, 'Who is that person who can think and speak clearly on my behalf and help make decisions?'" says Dr. Vermylen.

Once you identify that person (or people), the next step is letting them know what is important to you, in case you cannot communicate it clearly because of changes to your physical and/or mental health.

Start Talking Today

According to Dr. Vermylen, you should have ongoing conversations about what matters most to you throughout your life because your thoughts, values and wishes will most likely change over time.

Because it can be hard to start talk about this with your loved ones, Dr. Vermylen recommends these conversation starters. The first one is simple and the second is more specific.

• I need your help with something, can we talk?
• Even though I'm OK right now, I am concerned about ____ and want to be prepared. Can we talk about some things that matter to me?

She suggests using online resources such as The Conversation Project for help with ongoing conversations about your care. These prompts ask you questions such as:

• Do you have any worries about your health?
• What do you need to address to feel more prepared (examples: finances, property, legal documents, relationships, healthcare situations)?
• Do you have any fears, concerns, or mistrust about where or how you receive health care?
• Who do you want (or not want) to be involved in your health care?
• When you look ahead to the future, are there important events or dates you hope you are there for?
• Are there kinds of treatment you would want or not want (such as resuscitation attempts, ventilation or feeding tubes)?
• If your health condition changed, when would it be OK with you to shift from trying to cure an illness to trying to enjoy the end of life as much as possible?

Put It in Writing

Including your wishes for future medical care — and naming your healthcare power of attorney — in a legal document is a helpful move. Clearly outlining your decisions and wishes will help reduce confusion and stress for your loved ones. According to Dr. Vermylen, most people do this through an advance directive, which details how you want medical decisions made in the future if you cannot make them for yourself. The advance directive will also specify who should make those medical decisions on your behalf.

Many states have their own advance directive forms. For example, Illinois law allows you to make four types of advance directives:

• A healthcare power of attorney
• A living will
• A mental health treatment preference declaration
• A do-not-resuscitate (DNR)/practitioner orders for life-sustaining treatment (POLST) order

Your local agency on aging can help you locate the right forms for your state. Make sure you periodically review your advance care planning decisions. Share any changes with your healthcare power of attorney, care team members and anyone else who needs to know.

Ready, Set, Go

No one wants to think about things like serious illnesses or death — let alone talk about it in detail with their loved ones. But even though it's hard, it's better and easier to think and talk about it now, instead of leaving it to chance.

Make it easier on yourself and those who care about you most. Start now by defining and communicating your wishes for the kind of care you would like to receive now, if you were in an accident or became seriously sick, and even through the end of your life.